her royal highness.

Friday, February 27, 2009

i won't lie to the fact that life has been become such a bore. i mean seriously...all i ever do now is get up, go to school, attend lessons, mossy around during media, chiong hw/tuition hw and sleep. i don't have time. for myself, for a break, not even for GOD. this is how bad thinkgs are. not matter how much time i put into trying to save a space for God. nothing is working. cause i can't do my masterlife before i do my hw...cause i will fall asleep from tiredness. i alr tried. and i can't do it after my hw cause...i just fall asleep while doing my hw. i fell asleep while doing tuition hw i detention today. yes...DETENTION again. this is really really bad you know. i'm late for one day every week. if i alr get up to my 9th (actually 12th) times being late...i'll officially get a demerit. ME! i'm like such a good student luh...this is absolute rubbish!!!

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 10:15 PM

Sunday, February 22, 2009

crap...i'm still very very irritated about ytd. i don't know!!! i'm throughly confused. and i'm stuck up to my neck with homework. differentiation really sucks!!! especially when the qns are super complicated! :( it's really irritating!!! i shall get beck to doing my hw. bye!(:

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 8:11 PM

Saturday, February 21, 2009

i'm so pissed over wad bestfriend said today (not telling you which. but it can only be two of them and not all three.) seriously. if you don't want me to talk to you/be your friend just tell me straight in my face. don't say until you make me sound so unsuitable to be your friend or something. it hurts when you say such things. every time you say it i have to slow it in. even if YOU think you're joking/think it's funny...it's not. don't say things you don't mean. cause i don't care whether you mean it or not. if you say it means you mean it. i don't know how i'm going to even talk to you anymore since we were nvr really that close after last year.

to my other bestfriend: i know you hate it when i don't open up. and i hate it when you do that to me too. have you realised how awkward things have been over the past few weeks? we aren't even as close as we used to be. it sucks knowing that every time i want to talk to you, you're either too busy or too tired, or you basically don't want to talk to me. that's what i feel whenever i start talking to you. why do i always have to be the one always starting any conversation? what happened between us. i'm still wondering and it's confusing me big time. i rmb last year when we fought and i cried so much cause i didn't know how to face you the next day. it was such a big misunderstanding that caused a lot of hurt for both you and me. but now i don't even say hi to you cause i know how awkward the situation is going to be. have you even realised that i've completely stopped talking to you about things that matter? i don't know...i really am confused.

and to my last bestfriend: haha! keep jiayou-ing okay! 2 months have past alr! the rest will be over soon! can't wait for us to finally go out for lunch. can you stop being so busy/can you take some time off just for me?!?!?!?! -.- what if i really die in china (haha. i'm joking!!) then you can totally entirely forget about your lunch treat alr. haha! so you better be free for lunch before i go china!!!

sorry for ranting again. -.- i'm not being emo!!! i just have a lot of things running through my head at the moment. esp wad bestfriend said. i'm still pissed off!!! :X

anyway...i think i'm going to sleep now. tmr have to wake up at 7 to do tuition hw :X and i'm super tired from flag day today!!! :( so highly irritating!!!

so goodnight folks! bye!(:

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 10:58 PM

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

my 150th post! haha! i know...super slow...i'm not a consistent blogger. i don't have the time much less have the energy to blog. it's called being lazy. haha!

sec 4 life has finally taken a toll on me last week. finally broke down from all the tiredness and stress. i hate going to sch now. everything in sch sucks. from the food to the lessons to the people. i'm sorry...but i really cannot stand it anymore. i'm at the verge of another major breakdown.

this year hasn't been a good year. seriously. i've already been late for sch for the seventh time. it sucks like madness. remind me why i even get out of bed nowadays.

everything has changed. change is inevitable i know. but there are some things that i wish would change, but it doesn't. as for the things that i don't want any change to happen, it happens. things have been weird lately and i have yet to search for the answers to them.

sorry if i seem like i'm trying to hide something in my words. i'm just ranting. somethings are meant to be said in public and others are not.

i'm not trying to be/seem emo here. i realised i have matured more in the past few weeks/months. i learn a lot from life's experience and of course God. though i may still act like that little girl that everyone knows i am, my thinking and perspectives have changed a lot. though people don't realise. things happened. things that were both inevitable and not.

i miss my loved ones, i miss my friends. the pruning process is really the hardest to go through. losing/drifting away from close friends, as a result of too much reliance on them. it happens all the time. but still it hurts. scars that cannot be erased. i know God has my interest at heart, that's why He let's me go through such a painful process. yet another thing that is inevitable.

the world is filled with inevitable things. people coming and going. things change, people change. we all need to accept that fact. the fact that no matter how much we want things to remain the same, people to remain the same, it's not going to happen. somehow everyone knows it. but no one wants to admit it out loud, though deep down in our hearts, we already accepted the fact.

i leave you to think about what i say. it's time for my rest. bye!(:

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:23 AM