3.5.93; seventeen'10
fairsian; fmps&fmss
1E'00; 2C'01; 3G'02; 4G'03; 5F'04; 6F'05; 1E'06; 2E'07; 3E'08; 4E'09
media-en; programmer&webpager
NP-ian; biomedical laboratory technology
1M05'10; BLT22
berrylitee!
COSBT
youthIMPACT; actsONE
impactLIFE; newLIFE
lollipop princess!
eternal maknae! ♥



strange addiction.
we're members of GOD's family,
we're children of the KING;
because we've put our faith in CHRIST,
to us HE'll always cling.♥

GOD
alan; alex; ariel; jalq; gene; violet; ian; winnie
purple
family
besties
cell
fahrenheit!
wuzun!
super junior!
ryeowook! sungmin! donghae!
blueberry tea!
lollipop!
froyo!
ice-skating!
puzzles!

sony vaio cs 36GJ! [berry purple]
PSP! [purple/black]
handphone [htc touch pro 2]
iPod nano gen 4 [purple]
puzzles!
being nikki; meg cabot
run away; meg cabot
twilight saga box set
farenheit's 2nd album. :D
farenheit's 3rd album. :D

abi-joy low.
celeste lim.
dai jun hong.
isaiah chia.
loh junyi.

abi-joy low.
darius chng.
doreen neo.
esther lyn.
sarah chin.
trevor lee.
watt weihao.

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design&layout: mabTHONG!
copyright protected©

fullmoon.

was really happy as i was going back home just now. looked up into the sky and saw a full moon tonight. was so happy! i love looking at the moon :D haha! i remember that night when i was out with my BFs, and it was such a nice night with all the stars(: i miss that day :( and i miss you!

was reading up jealousy on my bible. sighs...i've been letting jealousy eat me up so much! but today...i took control of my jealousy(: was glad that i'm still in control of it. i don't want to be jealous :( sucks having that feeling!

不管你做什么我都会支持你。就算犯错了又怎么样？谁不会犯错啊？知错肯改才是最重要的。

i promise myself that i'll work hard. if i'm not back there by next week, i means that i'm still not ready. but i'll keep pressing on no matter what.

still a little annoyed that i haven't gotten my pay, and that i can't learn jap this semester :( sighs...first NPSU FOC, now jap :( i'm afraid they might have killed ice-skating as a cca too. oh God! i really pray that there's still such a cca! cause that's the only thing that i look forward to now! :X

okay. i shall go now. i binge ate just now cause i was unhappy! me thinks them koko krunch are already expired. haha! ah wells. so used to eating expired food now. haha! i won't tell you why!(: nights!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:48 AM

love.

9 Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,* and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.* 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

"I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,"*
says the LORD.

20 Instead,

"If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads."*

21 Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

-Romans 12:9-21(NLT)

this verse and another verse:

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:31 AM

whatwereyouthinking?

hello! today was a really good day! praise the Lord! i had a really fun time today at work(: the afternoon with amanda and yanty was CRAZY! so many smoothie orders and whatnots. but it was fun, though it was a mad rush, and the whole shop was a disaster zone, we still had fun(: haha! and closing with sheevonne is epic! had such a super good time! talking about stuff x) thanks girl for always being there to hear me rant about him. even though you still think i'm crazy for holding on. hahaha! love you loads! :D

i will sing for joy,

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:18 AM

wherethelovelastsforever.

Where The Love Lasts Forever - Hillsong United
Your mercy found me
Upon the broken road
And lifted me beyond my failing
Into your glory
My sin and shamed dissolved
And now forever yours I'll stand

In love never to end
To call your more than Lord
Glorious Friend

So I throw my life
Upon all that you are
'Cause I know you gave it all for me
And when all else fades
My soul will dance with you
Where the love lasts forever

And forever I will sing
Lord Forever I will sing
How you gave your life away
Just to save me
Lord you saved me

With you
Where the love lasts forever
I will be with you
Where the love lasts forever
I will sing to you
Where the love lasts forever
I will dance with you
Where the love lasts forever

sang this song during P&w during service. so meaningful. i love this song a lot. i really thank God for looking past all my failures, still loving me so unconditionally even though i have failed Him many times. i really want to let the people around me experience His love. so strong and enduring. He really never fails.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 10:56 PM

herewego.

hello! blogging again cause i'm really bored! i honestly have nothing to do. don't even feel like playing NFSU2 or sims 3. sighs...was at iluma again just now! was spamming NFSU2 like crazy! met sarah, abijoy and huldah after work! haha! went to berrylite @ iluma for FROYO! :D haha! the four of us shared an original flavour take home pack! haha! tasted so good!!! :D lol...then i bought another take home pack for BFFs! which i'm gonna pass it to them in church tmr(: haha!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:19 AM

hotmail.

hahaha! had a super hilarious time with darius and damien just now!!! hahaha! so super funny! the hotmail thing, plus all the retarded photos we took using my webcam, and how we got conned by the SNAP! software -.- hahahahahhaha! damn funny! laugh until i wanted to die. lol...
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:21 AM

onceagain.

hello! i'm at iluma. AGAIN. haha! waiting for darius to come over from esplanade -.- haha! then we're gonna have froyo! :D haha! kr's working today! haha! haven't seen him for a long time. lol...but you're not here today!! :(
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 8:37 PM

thefinallaughter.

hahaha! looked who got the last laugh yesterday? hahahahaha! no point trying to ridicule me when you should know you can't win me. i won't let you get to me. this i promise you. you can't honestly think i'm that dumb to let you win again do you? ever heard of once bitten, twice shy? but obviously you've never heard of it. because by your words and actions, it just proves to me you lack the vocabulary, thus you use such crude words to express yourself.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:50 PM

shameless.

i'm home! :D haha! had a happy time at iluma with the lovely berrylitees! :D haha! love them loads. if only work was this fun everyday. haha! walking in and out of the shop to talk to them. hahahaha! oh! and was so super glad to see willmer today :D hahaha! treating him to yogurt this friday! haha!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 11:33 PM

I ♥ ?

you're so low, it's despicable. but i still choose to close one eyes to things. it's not worth being angry over something that's not even worth my time. say what you want, and ridicule me all you want. it won't change anything. but please remember this. in the end, you don't answer to me. you answer to God. about your thoughts, actions and words.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 6:22 PM

mindset.

i really want to maintain my positive attitude in all situations. but i don't want to come across as fake. i'll plaster a genuine smile when i'm really happy. but if you don't see me smile. you know i'm not okay. people know me as the kind that my expression says all. and because of that, people stay away from me whenever they see me grumpy. i sometimes think that that's a bad thing, but i don't want to be fake, especially around people who know me so well. like acts one and new life. i don't want to put on a masquerade. cause if i do that in front of people who love me the most, what more can i say about the kind of facade that i put in front of people who don't know me at all.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:44 AM

happy!

man...i look like crap and i feel like crap currently. since i was at iluma. i keep having a floaty sensation. i keep wanting to faint, i feel so super nauseous, dizzy, with headaches and stuff. plus a really bad tummyache that keeps going on and off :( so so annoying and scary. it's been going on like this for the past few days :( it's really scaring me to the max, cause i don't know what's wrong with me :( and i don't wanna go to the doctors. i think i'm just suffering from indigestion. sighs...i wanna a hug! :(
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 11:30 PM

rest.

ended up not going to work today. spent the entire day resting. i should be in bed by now actually. thank God i feel so much better. my eye isn't as irritating anymore.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 2:08 AM

swayed.

it's so easy to be swayed by what others are saying and doing. al the cursing and swearing. and all other influences. gosh...it's such a struggle. but i want to stick to my values, that i've learnt from God. you may say i'm being too "holy". but in fact, i'm just being an obedient child of God.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 2:27 AM

can'tbelievethis.

today was a horrible day to the max! :( what a day to fall sick man! i think i caught jolene's virus and giana's eye infection!!! my eye has a stye now :( i'm so super annoyed! thank God clarabel helped me cover my shift today! until 10, then i came in to count money. slept in the shop from 7-10pm. woke up still feeling miserable :( am still feeling miserable in fact. sighs...but still...thanks clarabel!!! love you loads! :D
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:09 AM

potato.

hello! i realise i've been blogging very often recently. but i'm blogging now cause i'm so super bored!!! man! i get bored really easy, and i get bored of things really fast too! like i got bored of playing sims 3 already! even though i've only played it for less than a week. how retarded is that??? :(

currently talking to darius on MSN. trying to ease off my boredom. maybe i'll go and practice jump then fall on my guitar. i'm trying to find the music sheet for that song for the piano! :( but i can't find like a FREE one. sighs...

anyways...steamboat at giana's house this saturday! yay! i can't wait!!! haha! excited and happy :D

church today was extremely fun! love hanging out with them to the max! it really makes my day! :D haha! watched the movie "faith like potatoes" during service. nice movie!! i love! spoke to me so so much! if only i can be like angus, having faith in God in every situation. even when we face difficult situations, like when his nephew got killed in an accident, and we feel that God isn't there, we still must have faith in Him. cause He will provide the peace we need, and carry us out of our situations, but in His own way and own time. i really want to have that faith that angus has. to have faith like potatoes! something that grows, but can't be seen. could you really trust and believe, and put all your faith into a God, that you can't see? yes, it maybe be difficult at times. but it's through encounters with God, that our faith grows, because we see and experience the miracles that God has done in our lives, which brings us back to what PD taught us in the FISH series. about how simon peter, andrew, john and james, dropped everything and left their fathers, to follow Jesus. not blindly doing it, but because of what they saw God do, and what they experienced.

God's doors are always wide open, waiting for us to enter. but he also gave us a choice. whether or not we choose to accept Him. sometimes, God will work in the lives of non-believers, to show them that He is a true living God, so that they may believe in Him. while in other situations, it is the non-believers who accept God in to their hearts through hearing the testimony of others, and when they themselves experience such blessings and miracles from God, that their faith increases. God works in so many different ways!

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

this verse says a lot! because even as christians, some of us end up walking the broad road and entering into the wide gates. we always come up to a fork in the road whenever we face a difficult situation. then we have to make a decision. to take the easy way out of things, or to trust God and walk the narrow path. God never said that following Him would be easy. but He never said that following Him would be difficult either. it's all about our mindsets. how much we are really able to trust in God and let Him handle every situations.

for now, i'm just gonna trust God that He knows what's best for me. if He wants me to patch things up between us, so that we may become friends again, then i'll gladly accept that. but even if He doesn't want me to patch things up, i'll still continue to trust that He knows what's best.

okay! enough of the long post(: i'm going to bed soon! working tomorrow! from 12 to closing :( sighs...i'm really tired...

next week's schedule for me is exactly the same for me as this week's. sighs...i see another long week coming up! :( God! i need the strength! You strength!

gonna buy a take home pack for mu'en and ken next week(: hahahaha!

okay random! adios people! :D
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 11:58 PM

crazy.

i was crazy yesterday to have followed. don't deem me as a stalker please...i just wanted to see you leave.

church later! so excited and happy! but the rain just kills everything too! :( i don't wanna go out with an umbrella. haha!

anyway...my latest project is allie's birthday present! :D haha! i have put my other project on hold for now. haha! i've been really busy with so many things it's driving me crazy. that and the fact that my mind is always somewhere else, and not on the things that i'm supposed to be doing. which is even worse...sighs...

okay...i'm gonna install my game :D the settlers! then i'm gonna bathe, and prepare for church! byebye! :D

oh...i watched 跳出去 last night! haha! it was a good movie to me(: loved it. though some parts truly reminds me of what i'm going through at the moment. haha!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 11:42 AM

jerseyninetytwo.

you can stare, laugh and criticize me,
but it won't change anything.
including the fact that i still love you.
hello! i'm back at home! haha! and i'm eating fro-yo again. haha! can't get enough of it! lol...thank God i work at berrylite! haha! 20% staff discount :D lol...

ohmy...i have a really sudden urge to go ice-skating! haha! i'll probably go down to kallang leisure park on my own next week. haha! can't wait to join ice-skating in NP! i wanna go ice-skating with you! i know you went today...

so anyway...probably going to NP with govind and yumni for the installation briefing on thursday! haha! then will most likely head down to school to sit in during media :D hope to see familiar faces around!

okay i wanna go find some interesting games for my still not very interesting laptop. haha!

ciao!(:
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 11:52 PM

gone.

hello! i'm at iluma again!(:
WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE TODAY??? :(
was suppose to go out with gege after work, which was suppose to end at 4. but gege last minute have LG outing...so in the end i kenna pangseh-ed again :( annoying!!! so i ended up swapping shift with jolene, cause she wasn't feeling well. so i ended work at 7 instead. ah well...at least i got to see sheevonne today! :D hahaha!

anyway..i'm just gonna stay at iluma all by myself until around 10? haha! gonna buy a take home pack for the coolest church peeps ever! haha! but sadly...i only have enough money for one take home pack...so everyone has to eat minimally :( haha!

anyways...it seems like i didn't get accepted/chosen to go for NPSU FOC. :( i'm super super upset about that. :( william cheat my feelings!!!! hahahaha! ah wells...at least i'm still going for the LSCT FOC...so...sighs...haha! i'm still upset about it. lol...

okay! i'm gonna play my sims 3 now! :D feel like eating marble slab ice cream all of the sudden. haha! kr is working today! bumped into him ytd as well. haha! and syafiqah and kid are working at cheeky today! :D so is mummy!!! x) hahaha! i'm a happy girl suddenly. omg. erratic mood swing much? WHATEVER :D

bye loves!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 8:28 PM

create.

hello! i'm currently at berrylite @ iluma :D haha! working on the menu. lol...designing it to be exact. i'm currently done with the background. haha! after dinner i'm moving on to creating the rest of the menu. for now...time to grab dinner! haha!

BYE! :D
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 6:36 PM

givingitarest.

sighs...i need to stop thinking so much again. my heart is still aching very badly. but now...all i can say is that i'll let God patch me up spotless, and lead me in the right direction. if He wants our friendship to be renewed, He will show me the way. if not, i'll quietly fade into the background. and out of your life forever. for now, i'll give it a rest.

everyone keeps telling me, and encouraging me throughout the past month. thank you. i really appreciate it. i know i'm the impatient kind, where i want to resolve things quickly in short periods of times. but...yeah i know...this is the time where "patience is a virtue" kicks in. haha! this situation has brought out the worst of me, but i can feel that it's through these kinds of situations where one's character undergoes moulding and reshaping to become more refined. and i'm glad that God has been there guiding me through everything. even though sometimes i turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to Him, He's still there no matter what. i want to be a role model, where i can set a really good example to others, not just in the things i do, but character wise as well.

got my laptop today! am currently blogging from it actually. i love it. though it looks very unappealing, but it has really high specs, and it performs very well. so i'm pleased with it. though i still did not get what i initially wanted, which was the berry purple sony vaio, i'm not too upset about it. i just need to stop looking at it and salivate over how pretty it is in that shade of purple. hahahahaha! currently installing my sims 3! hahaha! so so so so so ultra happy! :D

anyway, NPSU FOC next week! EXCITED!!! hahaha! really really can't wait :D then weeks later..LSCT FOC! then sch starts! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! HAPPY HAPPY!

so anyway...keep praying for me my dear brothers and sisters, and i'll keep praying too. that God will lead me through the end of the tunnel. and i'll come healed, and ready to continue on with life(:

can't wait for tmr and friday! it's gonna be a blast! cause i'm going out to have fun! :D especially on friday! since it's my outing with gege! it's been a long while since we went out! can't wait! and am super excited about it! hahahaha!

i'm going to do something very unexpected tomorrow. but God will lead the way i guess. i'm scared and nervous. but it'll be for the best i guess. i want to stop hurting people.

i shall continue with setting up my laptop. been doing it for the past few hours. my eyes are growing tired though. lol...

bye lovelies! :D
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 10:36 PM

coldasice.

a fresh new wound. bleeding beyond control. my heart is only hanging my a thread now. it's been torn even with all the stitches trying to keep it together. i don't know what to do any more, except for apologise. i can't let go. i really can't. not after everything we've been through. can someone literally die from heart-brokenedness? cause now i really feel like the world is caving in on me. i jumped, then fell, but now that all my bones are broken, and i've lost all my will. i can't get up anymore.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:44 AM

overwhelmed.

i'm so...sighs. speechless. i really don't know how to express my emotions at this point in time. i'm bottling all my true feelings inside once again. the cycle is going repeat itself over and over again. this is so frustrating and annoying. situations and conflicts just keep pushing me further into my shell.

i want to be that happy-go-lucky little girl that i was years ago. so much happier back then. just laughing and everything. when sis anne said that she was glad to see that bubbly girl on saturday, it made me so happy. cause i was truly genuinely happy on saturday.

i'm sorry if i made everyone tired working with me and stuff. please just tell me. i'll be glad to help out when you need any. because sometimes you guys seem like you're able to cope with things so i just take a step back and wait for you to approach me, because i don't want to end up becoming a hindrance to you guys. i'm sorry i'm such a burden.

gosh...i'm such a problematic kid. seriously.

sighs...it's been a month already. and i still miss you so much :( everyone thinks i'm crazy for missing you. but i honestly do. you're in my mind in everything i do. i'm just waiting. and i'll continue waiting. to rebuild the friendship we once had. sighs...
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:49 AM

exhausted.

everytime you smile,
i smile.
everytime you shine,
i'll shine for you.

omg...i feel like dying at this current moment. hahaha! and i feel like puking :( i had such horrible tummyaches today. :( hurts like crazy. been going to bed moderately hungry and waking up extremely hungry the past few days. i think there's something wrong with me already...and i also think i lost weight. which gege agrees with me, THAT'S BAD!!!
today was a fairytale,
i wore a dress,
you wore a light grey t-shirt,
you told me i was pretty when i looked like a mess,
today was a fairytale.

time slows down,
whenever you're around...

but can you feel this magic in the air?
it must have been the way you kissed me.
fell in love when i saw you standing there,
it must have been a fairytale.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:05 AM

wheeeee!

yay! i've ordered my laptop already! so super excited to get it :DDDDD haha! went over to NP today to order it! :D bumped into ludfil, grayson and william!! haha! omg...i miss william! very long nvr see him alr! haha! he changed so much :D more mature already! haha! he asked me to sign up for NPSU FOC which i already did. lol...so excited for everything! haha! grayson asked me to join SSC sports camp also...but i think very dangerous for me :( haha!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 9:46 PM

spoiler.

i just heard whoa oh! (me vs. everyone) by forever the sickest kids featuring selena gomez. i love some of her songs, but no offence, she totally ruined whoa oh! in a way, which by the way is my favourite song. man...that's just sad seriously...
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 2:38 AM

revelation.

went down just now to blade! :D haha! fun to the maximum! was practicing going down hills and going up hills and my turning. haha! i suck at turning seriously. though it's so easy. lol...i'm getting the hang of it though!

dinner with isa tmr! excited! haven't seen him since chinese new year's eve. lol...

anyway...currently addicted to the song jump then fall by taylor swift. heard it while at work. cause gramophone plays the song! :D so thank God for that. haha! here's the song(:

Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift


wow. love taylor swift for her in you face love songs that everyone can relate too. especially girls. haha! :D

okay! time for bed(:

this song is for you.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:30 AM

secondchance.

wow man. today is really something. after the constant mind battle that i've been having for the past few days. i've finally cooled down, and looked at things from another angle, another perspective, and in your shoes.

i'm really sorry. sorry for not being as understanding as i should have been. sorry for being so impatient with you, sorry for always getting angry at you, leading to unwanted tears and arguments. and ultimately...sorry, for being so selfish, self-centered, demanding, jealous and greedy. i've committed one of biggest sin, one that is so easily hidden. covetousness. yes. i coveted you. no, not what you own or anything. just you. i'm wrong. you did tell me to leave you alone to give you some space, so that you could focus on your exams, and everything else. but i was really dense and slow, only realizing it today, when i was reading through our smses. i hope you'll happen to read this. i really really hope so. because i really wanna say sorry. the guilt and regrets have been constantly building up ever since the first argument we had that thursday. and you're right, i have been very immature and childish. this i really admit. i really regret not having done things differently, for being so petty, and for taking things too seriously, when you were just playing around that day. i know that you might not forgive me anymore. and yes. everyone is right. i should just leave you alone first. to let things settle. but i really hope you do forgive me, this silly little girl. i hope we can still become friends one day. you know i still love you no matter what.

if i only i wanted God half as much as i wanted you. to trust in Him to fix this friendship, instead of taking things into my own hands.

i've lost control of my tears, but i can only hope and pray that it'll stop soon. and that God will heal this open wound, my bleeding heart.

if only i would stop over-analysing things. stop thinking so much.

spent my entire dinner break sleeping. didn't even have dinner. yet when i was sleeping, my mind was so active. i was physically sleeping, yet i was mentally awake, listening to my music, listening to the surroundings, and even pondering about everything that has happened in the past few weeks.

sleepless days and sleepless nights. always pondering on how to fix things, how to resolve the situation. but i only end up being sad, because you seem determined to shut me out of your life.

give me a second chance please?
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:02 AM

naive.

i've no time to play stupid games with you.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:50 AM

fun!

my 250th post!

whooooooooooooo!!! i finally bought my rollerblades! so super happy about it! :D went iluma to have some fro-yo first. decided to have a super swirl(: haha! original wildberry swirl with new york cheese cake. the new york cheese cake totally taste like kahlua! such a disappointment! haha! then bussed over to peninsula shopping centre to buy my blades at skateline. haha! the sales lady, chloe, was so super damn nice! haha! we chatted for like an hour? lol...then headed back to iluma to buy an original flavoured take home pack :D haha! bumped into sheevonne at iluma! lol...

but i can't stop running.

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:02 AM

annoyed.

disclaimer: dear readers, please come to this blog to read, without a pre-conceived notion that whatever i'm writing on this blog is about you, for you or in relation to you. anyone of you. unless i actually tell you it's you, or even mention your name. seriously? if i honestly wanted to write about you, i would write about you in the black book that's constantly in my bag. not on a public place like this. i don't have the time to sit down and come up with conspiracy theories to demean you. and neither does my world solely revolve around anyone in particular except God. so thank you very much for reading!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:25 AM

i'madeadcat.

cause curiosity killed me.

anyway...today was a happy day!!! all negativity and unhappiness aside...today was a good but tiring day! ivan gege made my day when he came by to parkway just to see me! awww!! so sweet! thanks gege for making my day! haha! :D love you loads!!!

i think i'm high now...cause i drank the aloe vera syrup straight from a cup, slightly diluted with ice. haha! yes i know you think i'm psycho! well...too bad! i am :D haha! my sweet tooth just overwhelms me sometimes(: but i gave all my lollipops to the cheeky choc people! so i have none left...haha! i still owe kid one lollipop. lol...

got the notebook package from NP on saturday! korkor was drooling all over it. haha! cause he's jealous of the laptops' high specs! hahaha! sorry kor! who ask you have to be 2 years older than me? (x haha! i didn't even have to choose which laptop i should get.(they didn't even have vaio :X) haha! cause kor just chose it for me. which is of course the most high end and most expensive one. hahaha! thanks korkor! haha! you rock :D so now...i'll just buy that, an external HDD and a thumbdrive and i'm good to go! hahaha! kidding! lol...can't wait till school starts! excited like mad!!! :D

i'm still considering about going back into part-time. but i think i've almost made up my mind! thanks shev for supporting me! :D love you loads too! hahaha! i have no qualms about it anymore! it's been settled! i need to recharge my internal battery for school within the next 1 month, which means...NO SLEEPING LATE! i don't want to look like a panda :( yesterday korkor got a shock when he came into my room. i think i looked like a ghost or something. haha! don't worry! i'll be fine in no time at all! :D

lots of things to buy!!! still got no time to buy them though!! :( that's why the decision to go back into part-time. i think i have enough money saved up to last me for one or two semesters, provided i don't anyhow spend my money, and then i'll still be working while i study, to continue earning money for my next semester's expenses! i want to rely on myself to pay for my expenses, besides meals! i wanna be independent! and i don't wanna be a burden to daddy and mommy :( i know they have spent a lot of money on me. like surgery expenses, all my toys, clothes, computer, etc...so now must start to be independent and start relying on myself(:

dear God, thank you for today, all the little conversations You had with me and the little encouragements that You've given to me to pull me through this long and tiring sunday! thank You! and for making my day when gege came to visit!(: i just want to dwell in Your spirit constantly, every hour, minute and second, never failing to recognize that You are always there supporting me and guiding me, giving me the strength that i need. and for always constantly reminding me that You love me, and that i should store up my riches in heaven, instead of seeking earthly pleasure to fulfill my sinful desires. sorry, for falling into temptation and twisting Your arm. knowing that i should not test You, by jumping head first into an unknown situation, and getting myself nearly killed spiritually, emotionally and physically by my own silly actions. but You still rescued me in the end, something that i'll be eternally grateful for. You taught me how to love and be forgiving. but teach me how to love myself and forgive myself too. just like what ken said. i want to be able to love my neighbours and enemies as myself, but if i don't love myself, how do i love them? WWJD! what would Jesus do in this situation? thanks for reminding me to think in that direction today, before doing stupid things. now i've come to my senses. forgive me for storing up anger, sadness, hurt, bitterness, jealousy, greed, vengeance and hate in my heart for the past few weeks. but i'm slowly letting these feelings go, not by my own strength, but by relying on Yours. humans' love is flawed in so many ways. but Yours is perfect all around. thank You for this love You have shown me, which i now can show others. i want to shine Your light in the darkest place, and bring hope to your creations! amen!

today has been a great day, and i truly thank God for it! :D

i'm off to watch a movie before i sleep! :D goodnight people!(:
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:43 AM

delete.

i think the only thing you can do is press delete again and again. and you think that's going to delete me entirely out of your life?
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 10:56 PM

lost.

why??????????????????????????? :(
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 11:29 AM

pride.

is it worth throwing away my pride and dignity, and whatever self-image i have left, to end a war i started between us and bring peace? for you? yes. but you're not making it any easier for me. now i'm trapped. with no where to go, and no idea what to do. please tell me how i'm supposed to apologise to you.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:23 AM

devastation.

dear God, please just take me up to heaven with you now. i feel so lost. so so so very lost. i don't know who to turn to anymore. i've lost my sense of judgement because i don't even know who i can trust anymore. where must there be so much politics in this world? what happened to loving and building up fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, instead of cold-heartedly tearing them down. i'm sorry that i want to stop living. but right now, i just really want to be in Your protective arms, away from any hurt, bitterness, sadness, anger and hatred. i'm so super tired.the only reason why i still haven't quit is because i need the cash flow. i don't want to rely on my parents who are having such a hard time trying to even keep the family together because of financial difficulties. i don't even know how to be strong anymore. the word strong doesn't even exist in my dictionary anymore. and happiness is slowly disappearing as well. i find joy that there are still some friends that make me genuinely happy. close friends that i count as family, as brothers and sisters. thank You for providing them my way. though two of them are leaving tomorrow..i still thank You for letting me get to know them, to know the true meaning of happiness, something i haven't felt in ages.

and now i speak to you. if you're unhappy about me in anyway. just say it please. i plead with you. only with honest opinions can one change. i'll gladly hear what's on your mind and change whatever shortcomings i might have. but i must say this. every human, except Christ, is flawed. no one is perfect. it's our mission in life to strive to be perfect. but to perfect is to be like Christ. therefore, our mission is to be Christ-like. thus, i say to you. i'll try to change. but i'll still be flawed in other areas. no one ever said that you were perfect either. but yet i still see perfection within your flaws. i try to look at you through God's eyes, and love you with God's heart, because i have no rights to judge. only He can pass judgement.

and do i still want to kill you? no. i'm just saying it because the person i want to really hurt is myself. for even trying to attempt to barge into your life. now i have taken a step back and seen what i really need to see. i don't feel the longing anymore. i don't miss anything anymore. i've enjoyed the times spent. but now it's time to move on. to me, you're like my older brother now. someone i will still love when i see you, have a conversation with you if i bump into you, and encourage you when you are down. it may not be easy, but i'll try. because everyone in this world is worth for me to try to love.

i don't want to self-mutilate from the inside out anymore.

peace, my brothers and sisters.
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:04 AM

youidiot.

so many things have been happening lately that I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 12:03 AM