her royal highness.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

secondchance.

wow man. today is really something. after the constant mind battle that i've been having for the past few days. i've finally cooled down, and looked at things from another angle, another perspective, and in your shoes.

i'm really sorry. sorry for not being as understanding as i should have been. sorry for being so impatient with you, sorry for always getting angry at you, leading to unwanted tears and arguments. and ultimately...sorry, for being so selfish, self-centered, demanding, jealous and greedy. i've committed one of biggest sin, one that is so easily hidden. covetousness. yes. i coveted you. no, not what you own or anything. just you. i'm wrong. you did tell me to leave you alone to give you some space, so that you could focus on your exams, and everything else. but i was really dense and slow, only realizing it today, when i was reading through our smses. i hope you'll happen to read this. i really really hope so. because i really wanna say sorry. the guilt and regrets have been constantly building up ever since the first argument we had that thursday. and you're right, i have been very immature and childish. this i really admit. i really regret not having done things differently, for being so petty, and for taking things too seriously, when you were just playing around that day. i know that you might not forgive me anymore. and yes. everyone is right. i should just leave you alone first. to let things settle. but i really hope you do forgive me, this silly little girl. i hope we can still become friends one day. you know i still love you no matter what.

if i only i wanted God half as much as i wanted you. to trust in Him to fix this friendship, instead of taking things into my own hands.

i've lost control of my tears, but i can only hope and pray that it'll stop soon. and that God will heal this open wound, my bleeding heart.

if only i would stop over-analysing things. stop thinking so much.

spent my entire dinner break sleeping. didn't even have dinner. yet when i was sleeping, my mind was so active. i was physically sleeping, yet i was mentally awake, listening to my music, listening to the surroundings, and even pondering about everything that has happened in the past few weeks.

sleepless days and sleepless nights. always pondering on how to fix things, how to resolve the situation. but i only end up being sad, because you seem determined to shut me out of your life.

give me a second chance please?

mabTHONG.
lollipop princess! <3

my fantasy world. ♥ 1:02 AM